Shades

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“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.”

-Oscar Wilde

“When people show you who they really are believe them the first time.”

-Maya Angelou

When you’re hurting, it is true that the truth, is the best medicine! 

Think of a time where you’ve ran into someone that you haven’t seen in a long time. What is one of the first things that they said to you:

  • “Hey, How are you?
  • “How have you been?”
  • “What’s new with you?”
  • ALL THE ABOVE

Now, tell me how you responded? … nope, wait actually, let me guess… you probably did one of these numbers:

  • Oh Hey, “I’m okay”

It practically rolls off of your tongue automatically.

Question: Is it because we really care? Or Is it because we know it’s the polite thing to say at that given moment?

The most common little white lie that I tell someone on a daily basis is : “Oh, I’m okay.” or worse “I’m good, don’t worry about me.” I crossed it out above because majority of us are walking around living a daily routined life that almost seems programmed and we’re shying away from real issues that affect us.

Question: Is that wrong?

My response: I don’t know. This is something I constantly ask myself and is another reason why I’m sharing it with you all. Although, I do know that in addition to the fact that it’s no one’s business how I really feel, I just don’t want to be a headache to anyone. It’s something I struggle with. I’m the most independent and emotional person you will ever meet, trust me.

“The furthest thing from perfect like everyone I know.”

-Drake

I know for me, I go day to day usually on the verge of tears (which I’ve mentioned), worry, and uncertainty of how things are going to turn out, why things are going the way they are now, and just when all my work and efforts of self-consciousness will pay off.

I have tears for different reasons of course, but still tears.

I actually just told my best friend the other day that I’m not sure if I know how to be genuinely happy anymore, which scares me.

It just seems like every time I get close to something/one I perceive to be real and genuine it never fails to prove me wrong.

I don’t know about you but I can only be disappointed about one time per person/situation before I’m over it.

I have a very, very short tolerance (something that I’m working on) but it’s still very prevalent.

In my opinion, these days people sort of live in a haze of bullshit. Everyone is walking around with shades on (literally and figuratively). These shades block them from reality and keep the bottled up in their little (Turn Up) utopia where everything is great and the actions they make don’t have consequences.

Then there are those people who “joke” a lot about the truth but swear they are playing or they weren’t serious about whatever they said.

Let me tell everyone something, real quick, I’m fed up with people putting up fronts period, let alone for you to put up that same front and the try to mask your true feelings or lighten up the mood with the words: “It was a joke”. No sir/ma’am, you are the joke, the joke’s on you because everyone (well at least me) sees right through you.

Stop using that as a cover up!!! I know you weren’t playing you were serious just own it. It’s shady. You’re childish. Stop being scary.

“The truth is told in jokes.”

-Romanian proverb

I’m not going to lie I wore a pair of those shades before. I was oblivious to how my actions and choices would affect my feelings in the long run but when I realized that no good came from shying away from the truth because it was always there. This is epiphany.

“The truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time but it ain’t goin’ away.”

-Elvis Presley

“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.”

-Buddha

That’s how serious the force of truth is on the world and everyone takes it as a joke.

I’m still trying to figure out where the logic is in pretending to be happy when you’re not. Pretending to be okay when you really aren’t, if you need help then ask for it.

I don’t understand how people get mad when you speak the truth. Whether it is a traditional thing, or cultural thing and you’re told it’s not “your place” to say something, to me is beside the point.

It is an issue of pride and ego which I understand because I struggle with being purely vulnerable in many aspects of life but I have to face it and I’m learning that.

It isn’t healthy to avoid interactions with hurt or uncomfortable situations. Quite frankly, I can’t deal with the act people put on. (I know I’ve said this before but it’s so sad and I see it everywhere I just don’t understand how people can faithfully live lies).

In society today, looking at the bigger picture the constant sugar coating and ignorance towards issues such as depression, racism, child molestation in churches and in households, homosexuality, suicide, and mental illness is killing us as a people.

I urge everyone to reach that climax and hit your epiphany, if you haven’t already.

The shades will get old.

The shades will bind you.

The shades will make you weary.

Wearing shades when you’re facing your situation doesn’t make your problems or hurt any more acceptable or invisible but rather more noticeable and harmful.

“The only people mad at you for speaking the truth are those living a lie. Keep speaking it.”

“And for the record I’m not okay, but I will be.”

-Chántelle Agbro

BEWARE: I am not easily broken nor fooled!

 Copyright © 2016

 

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9 thoughts on “Shades

  1. I really enjoyed this post… I’m guilty of living with my shades on as well. I think growing up especially in the African American community we are taught to sweep things under the rug that is not easily understood or accepted. A lot of people don’t want to feel embarrassed or less than by publicly acknowledging their flaws. Most live life “Filtered” only showing what makes them look good and not the “Real” parts of their life. Great Post!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “The only people mad at you for speaking the truth are those living a lie”, that is a quote I have been waiting for. I was just speaking to someone the other day who was wondering when they’ll stop being so damn sad all the time. A topic that came up was why people hide, why people don’t speak up. The answer I had was that people hide because nobody wants to hear the truth. They’re so quick to throw their disapproval at you for speaking from your heart and soul. Throughout this post I’ve noticed that the main cause for unhappiness is other people. I know it’s not easy to ignore the disapproval of others, but I truly believe that is the first step to happiness. Their disapproval has nothing to do with you. Only them. Those who disapprove, those who don’t want to hear the truth, they’re only so cozy in their shade because they haven’t felt the sun. That’s their problem, don’t let them take the sun away from you.
    Have you ever read the short story, “Hell is other People”? I reccomend it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is officially my favorite post, when you said the topic was “Shades” a couple days ago I was thinking “hmm, I wonder where she’s going with this.” Like all your other post the message is clear, but this one feels more relatable. Building a wall and forcing myself to believe everything is fine used to be the easiest way for me to deal with life but it made it harder for me to deal with myself because on the inside I knew I was on the verge of losing my mind. Taking your “shades” off isn’t easy but it is worth it, can’t wait for your next post.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Loved this post. The style of writing and the topic. I felt like I was reading something I would’ve written, a reflection of myself and for that I’m already a fan.

    … I find that sometimes I give the short response too, “I’m good.” I’m guilty only when it’s spoken to people whom I can’t read. How do I know that they genuinely care to know “how i’m doing”? And since I don’t know, I refuse to tell them my true feelings. I’m guarded like that. I carry my feelings like they’re newborn babies. Can’t let any ole body hold them :-/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, if you loved this you will love my previous post from when I first started out even more! But thank you for your feedback I definitely agree with everything you say, it’s very scary not to know anyone’s true intentions.

      Like

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