it’s okay to feel

“When you’re feeling distressed, that doesn’t mean find a way to run away from your feelings. You need to feel what you’re feeling and know it’s OK.”

-thegoodquote

One of the many things I’ve always been very open to trying but never had the opportunity to experience, is hiking and camping!

Well what better place to do so then in Ecuador, right?

Right.

This past weekend I was fortunate enough to visit Cajas National Park. While there, I was exposed to many beautiful and indescribable elements of nature that couldn’t have shaped my experience any better than it did.

Okay, so I don’t know if I’ve already shared this but the family that I’m living with in Ecuador lives on a hill.

Not just any hill, but a steep hill.

Not just one steep hill, but TWO steep hills.

I walk to and from school everyday twice a day because lunch is a very important meal here. So now that I set the scene for how I already endure steep hills outside of hiking, here goes my hiking adventure in a nutshell.

Hike Talk: When we started our trail I literally wanted to die. It’s bad enough I looked at these mountains while on the bus ride here and wondered how people actually lived on these mountains with entire farms to tend to. But then to actually be put in their shoes on several of these mountains was just utterly insane. I really have so much respect for them.

Hiking definitely reminded me of how spoiled I am. It taught me how fortunate I am to have the options and how easily accessible everything is for me in the states. I fell about 5 times no matter how careful I tried to be and I laughed it off every time. Besides the fact that I am just a very clumsy person, I believe that as many times and in as many terrible positions that I fell; as long as I could get UP and make it to the finish line I was awesome! Being first does not equal to receiving the best. I was reassured that you hike at your own pace and you comprehend on your own level. Not one person on this earth is alike, never compare your current state to anyone else’s because there will always be discrepancies. Take your time and enjoy each moment as you are there.

“Everything will be okay in the end. 

If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

I place this quote here to remind someone that it’s not the end, in fact, contrary to what you might think, it’s only the beginning.

I had a moment when was feeling a little down while I was in Cajas. Of course it was a great hiking trip and I made it to the finish line but then my thoughts started to get the best of me. Those who know me, know that in this part of my life I’m really going through something and finding myself is part of my simultaneous healing remedy. I’m healing from a lot (my book will have all of that juicy detail) and I’m trying to cope with the many questions and thought that come in my mind excessively on a daily basis.

It is literally one of the hardest things to do.

I started to think about people and situations that had absolutely no business following me to this beautiful place of serenity. I was very mad about it because it seemed no matter what I do, where I am, or where I go certain things from my past always find a way to creep into my happy place. I thought I was doing an injustice to myself by laying in my tent journaling about what I was feeling at that moment and not engaging nor acknowledging my surroundings.

Then it hit me.

Although, I didn’t want to feel these sad, confused, numb, angry, and isolated things that I was, it was O. K. for me feel.

  1. It means I’m human.
  2. It means I’m genuine
  3. It means the process is doing its job.

Everything that I sense, think, imagine, and even pray about everyday no matter how redundant I may think it is, it is supposed to happen exactly like that. I’m in a better head space than I was this time last year, and at the end of this program I will be in an even better space.

It’s a process and I have to give myself credit for how far I’ve come up until this point. It’s very important.

This brings me to:

Camp Talk: Camping, oh camping. I must say that this aspect most definitely tried my patience. This was the most uncomfortable and miserable that I have probably been in my entire life. It rained all night and it was cold. There was 4 of us in a tent which wasn’t bad because the body heat definitely came in handy but the ground was sooooo hard. However, my biggest lesson, without a doubt derived from this experience right here. There was another moment after I was tossing, turning, and curling up my toes because I was freezing, that I became really humble.

I began to think of the vicious winters that we have had and how homeless people cope with living on the streets daily. I thought about how they have no choice but to look forward to laying there head down at night on the concrete wondering where or if they will have another meal. They have to look over their shoulder constantly to keep people, bugs, animals and other elements of nature from bothering them. Right then and there I just started to thank GOD that I was even alive and well. He humbled me so much in one night, it was actually amazing.

Here I was laying on GOD beautiful creation and all I could think about was getting in hot water and wifi the next morning. Not even realizing that people live like this and worse every single day. I was just praying to make it through the night while others were probably praying they make it through the year with enough natural resources to open their eyes every morning.

“When I’m down on my luck I focus on the fact that life is made up of beautiful moments and the bad ones are only interruptions between them.”

-Rachel Wolchin

I’m telling you all this now, living in another country is literally another world. I hope every last one of you reading this gets to experience it and can gather your own takeaways.

It’s rough and it’s challenging but it’s a true test of character and guess what?

I’m passing with flying colors:)

Enjoy the new pictures, love you guys!

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Copyright © 2016

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24 thoughts on “it’s okay to feel

  1. Hi Chantelle! First of all I just wanted to say that good job for making a blog because keeping up with it and being constant is not an easy task.
    Second of all: DONT STOP BLOGGING EVER IN YOUR LIFE! You are absolutely such a great writer! Low key you made me tear up because everything you said is right and is definitely a process when traveling. Your words are definitely an inspiration to whomever decides to travel abroad and it makes me SO happy to hear that you are growing within the FIRST TWO WEEKS! We havent even gotten to the month! Keep moving forward and I hope you get to have an amazing experience in South America. Its beautiful aint it? Ill be excited to be studying abroad with you, ya pretty lady.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shelem ! Thank you so much! I’m so glad I mad you happy that’s my goal! I meant to reach as many people as I can. Tearing up is great feel everything because you’re beautiful ! Thank you thank you and I pray my words continue to touch your soul ! Love always ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Definitely a God awesome moment. You convey so honestly how life itself can be just like the mountain talk you described – the ups, downs, etc. Great revelations shared and connecting nature to human interaction and involvement. Excellent post!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sooo I’m supposed to be asleep lol, but something told me that I should read this before bed. So here I am 😊. Great post ! I need to become more humble and learn to appreciate all I have. As I read this I was just thinking about everything that mom and dad have done for us for the years and I just want to make them proud and give back once we become successful. I also need to tell the ones I love that I love them, why I love them, and thank them for being such a big part of my life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol yesssss good job Monique! I’m very proud of you and love you more than you know ❤️ keep grinding and growing into a mindful young lady!!

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  4. Love this post! It’s so important to realize that it’s okay to not be happy ALL the time and that everyone is going to have highs and lows. You’ve captured the essence of why: it makes us human! I really enjoyed reading the Chántelle and seeing something that I also experienced through the eyes of someone else. I’m so happy to have met you on this journey. Looking forward to reading more from you. Stay flawless.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yessss! Daisia thank you so much love! I’m so glad I could help and connect with you ❤️ subscribe to my blog love you won’t regret it!!

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  5. Wow!!!! I wish i was there. Your blog makes me feel like i was right there hiking with you! Im jealous! Keep expanding your horizons. You’re making major moves!!!

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  6. Wonderful comparison between human interactions/ life and mountains I love it and am thrilled to be experiencing this journey with you thru these posts.❣

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Chantelle babyyyy! I finally got around to reading your blog and I am honestly so glad I did! You’re so right, sometimes we don’t realize how spoiled we are until we try all these new experiences! And you know whatever it is that you’re going through and whatever was making you feel down just know that a lot of us feel that way many times and hell yeah you’re allowed to feel sad and down whenever the hell you want! But just know that you got us here if you want to talk and just let it all out, boo! Sigue siendo increíble! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Gaby muchas gracias bella ! ❤️ thank you so much for this it means a lot and it’s hard but I definitely feel good knowing I can be open with everything! Te Quiero Mami!

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  8. Great post Chantelle! It’s so genuine and I’m glad you’re enjoying your experience. Kee pushing yourself to try new things and make sure you enjoy every moment while you’re there. These will make great memories and become part of the legacy you pass on.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This is indeed a great read Hermana! Can’t wait to read more of your blogs.. I’m working on it with my little busy body.. Keep up your amazing writing💋

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Its funny how before reading this blog I was deep in an emotional state, but as I read through it, I could do nothing but smile and shake my head in agreement to the points you were making. #LetMeRemindMyselfThatItsOKtoFeel
    I appreciate those few words in its entirety alone. Loved reading this blog, and I love you!

    Like

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