heavy.. but necessary

you weren’t there the night I defeated my own mind.

dense clouds of of my tears had me feeling like i would never be “just fine”.

self doubt. self hate.

i lived in a place where all love had escaped.

i was in a head space where those secondary thoughts looked better day by day.

like a year old parasite,

self condemnation fed on me.

fed on life.

fed on light.

it weighed my down, i knew it wasn’t right.

it scraped me clean of joy, hope and anything in between.

death came, and was ready to take over the whole scene.

it knew exactly what to do,

i was beyond vulnerable, my heart could’ve been shriveled up into two.

yet, my undying fire,

death couldn’t ignore,

and it’s decit soundly fell through.

I thank God I’m not just flesh.

I thank God for sending his best.

I thank God for just knowing and for spiritual unrest,

when you’re at your lowest and  don’t see the option of “next”.

if battling your own thoughts doesn’t make you reassess your life’s paradigm,

then, self demise is only in a matter of time..

for your sake, please realign.

IMG_4249© copyrighted 2018



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