the outcome.

how come, we always seek an outcome?

I know for me, it’s because if I put something out into the universe I want to see want effect it’s made, almost instantly.

That could be the millenial in me, (always seeking that instant gratification).

But I’m learning over and over. and day by day that some of the most rewarding outcomes are birthed from patience.

and I’m also learning that the most meaningful and effective gestures are to do absolutely

nothing.

nothing.

that’s a challenge for me.

I always feel like I need to do something, like I didn’t get an outcome that I wanted because I didn’t try hard enough.

But lately I’ve found the beauty and peace in not trying.

I have also been questioning my state of complacency with regards to trying so hard.

I asked myself: “What if this whole time, I’ve kept myself complacent because of my fixation on persistently “trying”?

Sometimes not trying is trying.

What if I’ve received the opposite desired effects from always predicting, assuming and acting on the idea of what I thought a certain outcome to any given situation should look like?

WHAT THE HECK.

In the past, I think I’ve equated not trying with giving up but now it’s becoming more clear that that’s not necessarily what it means. In fact, most of the time that’s not the case. Because what is and what is supposed to be, comes oh so naturally, my darlings. Not necessarily without ANY effort whatsoever but without any added effort with the motive and intention behind it of “this is supposed to work and it’s supposed to work just like this.”

What if by trying, I’ve in fact hindered my own growth? my own progression?

and it seems, as though that that’s definitely what I’ve done.

I’ve questioned my adequacy so many times when it comes to love life and writer life. Is this who I’m supposed to be with?, Am I enough?, Am I too much? Am I really a writer, or in the end is this shit just going to blatantly suck?

The scary and unfortunate part is I don’t know for majority of those questions how the answers will come to fruition but I know they will eventually.

I didn’t try for a week in one aspect in my life, and I actually ended up getting the outcome I wanted. Now, that’s not to say that will happen every time but I believe I’ll benefit either way in the long run. If I don’t try and just let things happen, I’ll get an outcome that I need or want or both.

I can learn from it all.

I started reading this new book, you probably heard of it called:

The Subtle Art of not Giving a Fuck by Mark Mason

It’s teaching me more about this logical thinking and reacting concept opposed basing all I do, say think, and feel on emotions. It also highlighting how really choosing and prioritizing what to give a f**k about can be the result of how stressed or not stressed I am.

It’s perfect for me, because I overthink, and I think the worst almost all the time.

I don’t know what it is you struggle with but I challenge you for the week, to start, to starve that struggle.

For me, I deleted my IG app, I put my phone on DND, and I plan to refresh my memory on how to crochet later on this week.

On top of reading this book, and making it my new hobby, I just want to be in a space, (if I can help it), where what I’m putting out is being appreciated and reciprocated.

I deserve at least that. and so do you.

i’ll leave you with, don’t try. don’t look for an outcome. just let life happen because it’s in divine order.

don’t stress what you can’t control. and be selective with what you can control.

don’t expect outcomes, just be. just happen. just reasonably wait and see.

  • I love you, pray for me this week, and I’ll pray for you too.

IMG_9149 P.S. – MY SOUL TOLD ON ME, is so much closer than you think! My first memoir my first baby, I hope it’s all it should be for whoever it needs to be for.

© copyrighted 2018

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