thankful

I thank God, regardless.

I’m staying humble, regardless.

I’m staying hopeful, regardless.

I have gratitude, regardless.

Please continue to guide me, keep my heart in tact, keep me positive and anxious for brighter days.

copyrighted © 2018

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incompareable

lately, i’ve been stopping in my tracks ..

i’ve been pausing. taking my time taking some steps back.

to not only breathe but to acknowledge my breaths meaning..

respecting the weight,  it carries.

i am here and i pronounce all gratitude for that truth.

although subtle, its capabilities are,

incomparable.

just. like. you.

 

copyrighted © 2018

pray

you have to know who you are for anything that happens to you to make sense.

i know that i am so powerful, loved, and well groomed that the terrible and unjust things

i encounter were placed specifically for me to shape my being…

please excuse me,

 

it’s been a rough 5 weeks lately,

and life is still consequently happening . .

pray , pray , pray for me my family and all else in between,

please.

 

copyrighted 2018 ©IMG_5354

what’s for you.

i remember the days

i would go through life’s waves

desperately drowning for you.

little did i know,

you weren’t capable to feed me like i needed you to.

it couldn’t be you to see me through.

i’d live in the fairytales of my hearts’ comfort,

i’d live in only the safest parts of music’s rhythmes,

which felt like magic,

and like it was acceptable to be an addict,

of love.

my mind would paint,

paint,

and paint

until it constructed the perfect picture of just us two.

this walk through,

reminded me of all things anew,

i’d search deeper and deeper,

only to lose my footing quicker,

with me,

with the solid ground labeled as

us and we, meaning:

I, myself, and me.

i don’t regret falling for you,

yet i do regret chasing you,

and almost forcing what wasn’t for you, on you.

i don’t think either one of us knew the essence

of the saying:

what’s for you is for you

and that’s something that could never be misconstrued.

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copyright © 2018

heavy.. but necessary

you weren’t there the night I defeated my own mind.

dense clouds of of my tears had me feeling like i would never be “just fine”.

self doubt. self hate.

i lived in a place where all love had escaped.

i was in a head space where those secondary thoughts looked better day by day.

like a year old parasite,

self condemnation fed on me.

fed on life.

fed on light.

it weighed my down, i knew it wasn’t right.

it scraped me clean of joy, hope and anything in between.

death came, and was ready to take over the whole scene.

it knew exactly what to do,

i was beyond vulnerable, my heart could’ve been shriveled up into two.

yet, my undying fire,

death couldn’t ignore,

and it’s decit soundly fell through.

I thank God I’m not just flesh.

I thank God for sending his best.

I thank God for just knowing and for spiritual unrest,

when you’re at your lowest and  don’t see the option of “next”.

if battling your own thoughts doesn’t make you reassess your life’s paradigm,

then, self demise is only in a matter of time..

for your sake, please realign.

IMG_4249© copyrighted 2018